About two months ago, I came up with this shell of a song but have been stuck since then trying to figure out a good structure to lengthen it to normal song length. Its running a bit short now.
Here is I Am the King of Sad Retorts
[audio:https://hellocomein.com/soundbox/hellomusic_mike/I%20Am%20the%20King%20of%20Sad%20Retorts.mp3]This song feels overly Ben Gibbardy and I am even afraid I ripped off that bass piano line from Death Cab…but i havent checked yet b\c I am afraid of my imitation. But I think this tune might be able to have some potential once I figure out a chorus part and write some lyrics. I think I am already hearing the vocal melody in my head, but I might just be humming in a Death Cab-esque style.
I think this is the point where we need to start refining what we have and I dont know, maybe record some lyrics. As we are quite music based in nature (at least I am) I think this will be our major turning point in developing shimmering sparkley pop songs for the eager public.
So I still have a few challenges:
1) I need to find out what the structure is so I can write the correct amount of lyrics.
2) I need to write lyrics and vocal melodies for this past songs and record to see how all of that fits together.
So thoughts?
You are correct in your Death Cabesque sound .. but it also might be the drums on this one that give that sappy edge..
are you saying this sounds sappy? i think this is the best use of the garage band drums ive been able to come up with in all my songs ive done. obviously real drums would work better, but i think this is far from sappy.
I think it’s the piano RH melody that makes it sound like almost exactly like the bass line in summer skin, but I think you could ditch that and be OK. I like the vibes a lot, and you could really use that more to your advantage to get away for the death cab sound. Long term, we could record that with a glockenspiel for a cool sound… but then would it sound too much like Sigur Ros :)
some other thoughts:
Does this make you miss your real Rhodes?
I love the melody line that the vibes gets.
Maybe try less reverb on the finger snaps.
i didn’t realizre the emoticon would come out so giant and yellow. i regret using it.