Here’s an update to my song from last week. It’s still electronic. It still has the Circuit Dialogue patch. It still has somewhat of a postal servicey feel. I decided to worry about those textural issues at a later date and just work towards completing a song with real live verses and choruses- imagine that!!!!
Needless to say, I present you with Slowly Yes again, now featuring one verse. Hooray. Before you judge too much, I should tell you that I recorded this at 1:00 in the AM, Christmas morning; the verse line is a whisper because I didn’t want to bother Santa as he was putting our presents under the tree. I swear I heard creaking floorboards 20 minutes ago, and if you listen carefully, I bet there is an artifact in the recording. Maybe I can use the mp3 as proof of Santa Clause, similar to what John Travolta did in the 1970’s classic Blow Out with reel to reel tape. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend (it’s occasionally on the channel 62 Sunday afternoon nothing-better-to-do lineup).
Listen here: Slowly Yes version two
[audio:https://hellocomein.com/soundbox/hellomusic_greg/slowly%20yes_1225.mp3]Questions:
- Do you like the verse melody, or should I try again? Sorry about all the lame vocal effects by the way…
- Verse length OK? Chorus length? How many verses I should have?
Here are the lyrics right now, feel free to comment/edit/add:
(Intro with verse progression)
Slowly, yes, is my answer for you, because I know you well enough to call this.
Slowly, yes, is my answer for you, because I know you well enough to call this.
Slowly, yes, is my answer for you, because I know you well enough to call this.
All of the options were failing her when she tried to comply
with an answer that satisfied a simple step: no regrets.
Like a hiker who disregards a faded blaze, ’cause this mountain’s a maze.
Downhill for water, or uphill? “There’s space for a fire, they’ll see me higher.”
In my mind I was picturing your melody to the chorus being the verse melody and set up to a different chorus melody. I tend to like verses that have that repetition of lyrical openings. I wonder if you could try singing other phrases each time after the “Slowly yes” line..
I really do like the verse lyrics though, so maybe I’m torn. I think you might benefit from a new take on that section when you go to fill it out…its a tad off key and you could use a bit smoother phrasing to fit all the words in. When in doubt, rethink and make simpler.
The synths right now are very rich and layered nicely…that i think is becoming one of the things Ilisten to the most in music like this. Its great when you find that perfect mix of sounds to create a larger darker sound.
Well done…I can really hear this song taking shape.
Interesting idea with “Slowly Yes” becoming the verse. I like the verse lyrics too, but maybe they can be incorporated some other way… at least phrased a little better. One possibility is to take my current verse chord progression and use it as a bridge progression instead- I don’t think it’s working so well as is. I think in this case I would try to use the current chorus progression/melody and use it as a verse as well, similar to the way “Chicago” works by Sufjan Stevens. To be continued!
On further listens I think you should explore using the following as a bridge of the song.
“All of the options were failing her when she tried to comply
with an answer that satisfied a simple step: no regrets.
Like a hiker who disregards a faded blaze, ’cause this mountain’s a maze.
Downhill for water, or uphill? “There’s space for a fire, they’ll see me higher.â€
Then I would use your “Slowly yes…” melody and phrasing as the verses.
Come up w\ other lyrics that follow this pattern starting w\ “slowly yes..bla blah blah” :
THEN come up w\ a chorus melody that might be a bit different and vamp on this line as the hook:
“Slowly, yes, is my answer for you,
because I know you well enough to call this.”
stick with it…you are on to something nice.