Author: Aryn Crowley

Ok so we had to get some work done on our ol’ car this week, and so to see if we were getting ripped off I did some searches. I stumbled upon this old commercial:

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Click here if you cannot see the video above.

I just find it amazing how perceptions of “Sleak and Modern” can change over the years.. Don’t get me wrong, its still a great car, just funny to look back at the precise engineering of 1990. I wonder how silly the current apple products or dyson vaccuum cleaners will look in 17 years?

Also have you ever heard such creepy music in a car commercial before?

So in response to an article I stumbled upon (article link here) — which basically says that if you receive a promo cd, and for whatever reason throw it into the trash, you are “illegally distributing” said music — I’ve decided to present a model that would rework the entire music industry into something more digestible in our modern world.

A few suggestions:

1. All music must be approved by a centralized “Audio Czar” appointed every 4 years by the U.N.

2. All content will be distributed over approved channels and “secure” methods: namely audio cassette with the tab punched out so you can no longer record over it.

3. All chord progressions must be standardized to fit into 3 easy to digest categories: County, Rap, Classical

4. All tours will be made “green” which means that tours now consist of people gathering in a large space powered by workout bicycles as they watch a projection of the band playing from a pre-recorded session. All audio output will be from pre-authorized cassette tape recordings. Tours will last One (1) day per year simulcast in no more than 30 different markets.

5. A dress code will be issued for “rock-star” attire which will conform to the rigid standards of penal institutions. Jump suit colors are customizable.

6. A music tax will be added to all gasoline purchases to help offset the costs of pirate music operations, and unauthorized audio cassette playback.

7. All cassette playback must be pre-scheduled and authorized by previously mentioned Audio Czar. All unauthorized playback will constitute piracy and require that cassette tapes be mailed back (at consumer cost) to the appropriate disposal center.

I think that does it! Man I can’t wait for the future of Rock ‘n Roll.

Premise: take videos of famously awesome musicians (namely guitar heroes) and completely replace the audio with your own terrible guitar solos. He does a really good job syncing up the timing so it looks like Clapton/Stevie are actually playing this crap:

Check it out before it gets yanked:

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and this one:

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